e-ARC, 384 pagesRelease Date: February 6, 2018Published by: McElderry Books
Read from: February 7-February 10, 2018Stand-aloneSource: Edelweiss (I received a copy of this book from the Edelweiss and the Publisher in exchange for a just and honest review. This did nothing to influence my review.)For fans of: Contemporary, Realistic Fiction, Romance, LGBTQ, YA
How do you let go of something you’ve never had?
Junior year for Brooke Winters is supposed to be about change. She’s transferring schools, starting fresh, and making plans for college so she can finally leave her hometown, her family, and her past behind.
But all of her dreams are shattered one hot summer afternoon when her mother is arrested for killing Brooke’s abusive father. No one really knows what happened that day, if it was premeditated or self-defense, whether it was right or wrong. And now Brooke and her siblings are on their own.
In a year of firsts—the first year without parents, first love, first heartbreak, and her first taste of freedom—Brooke must confront the shadow of her family’s violence and dysfunction, as she struggles to embrace her identity, finds her true place in the world, and learns how to let go.
*MY THOUGHTS*
I found this book on accident really. I couldn't decide what to read so I decided to read a little from each of the ones I had in mind. When I got to this one, I just couldn't stop reading it.
"We weren't brought up with any kind of religion. So maybe that's why I've never thought too much about the soul. Never knew how to define it, recognize it. But looking down at my dad's face, I know exactly what a soul is, and I know for sure that it exists, because I can see that his is gone. He doesn't look real. Like whatever made him, him, whatever made him a person, a human being, is no longer there."14%
Brooke was supposed to have it easy. Go to a new school and have an easy summer. But one day, that's all changed when she comes home to see that her mom has been arrested for killing her father. Brooke has so much on her plate trying to learn how to keep the family together and everything else. But then she learns the hardest lesson yet- when to let go.
"He was a great guy... generous[...] I guess it's natural that when people die, when they're no longer here to defend themselves, the temptation to idealize them is stronger than the pull of reality. That acute desire to pretend they didn't have a single flaw- I feel it too."14%
The writing style was what got me. I wasn't expecting to fall into this book and get stuck like I did. I called myself reading only the first chapter and I just couldn't stop reading it. I loved how Smith was able to "show" me Brooke's world instead of just telling me. This is one of my favorite parts of reading, getting lost in the character's world.
"How's the fancy-pants school? [...] Lots of screens everywhere. Smaller classes. More teachers, fewer students. They seem like mostly assholes-' 'They are everywhere, aren't they?"39%
However, I wasn't a fan of the MC. It was like a wreck that you couldn't look away from. I felt so bad for her situation, but I also knew that was too much for anyone to go through. Adding on to the fact that she got migraines from stress, (which I can definitely relate to) it was just too much. I wanted to shake her and tell her it didn't have to be that way. But I knew her pride was getting in the way. (However I LOVED Dani and I was not happy about how things went with her....)
"Water, she begins, shaking her head slightly, a deeper crease forming in her brow as she tries to to put it into words, 'water's always seeking water. It's like gravity, magnetism- water attracts water. [...] They cut through rokck, move mountations to do it, but they always carve out a path [...] to reach that other body of water out there. 'Funny thing is, she continues, 'people do that too, don't they"63%
I also really liked how Smith handled the tough subject of having a parent in prison, having one pass away, and having one kid witness it. It was such a terrible situation, and I really wanted to hug them all. Especially Callie. I couldn't even imagine what to do in that type of situation. Smith found a good way to handle it all.
"Life doesn't always go as planned though, does it?"66%
I really was expecting to only read the first chapter in this book, but I was sucked into it unexpectedly. Sometimes that makes the best stories. I'm happy that I chose this one to get sucked into.
Overall, I give this
