The How and the Why by Cynthia Hand

ARC, 446 pages           
Release Date: November 5, 2019
Published by: HarperTeen
Read from: November 25- December 5, 2019
Stand-alone
Source: Edelweiss (I received a copy of this book from Edelweiss and the Publisher in exchange for a just and honest review. This did nothing to influence my review.) 
TW: 
For fans of: Contemporary, Coming of Age, YA, #OwnVoices Adoption


     A poignant exploration of family and the ties that bind, perfect for fans of Far From the Tree, from New York Times bestselling author Cynthia Hand.
     Today Melly had us writing letters to our babies…
     Cassandra McMurtrey has the best parents a girl could ask for. They’ve given Cass a life she wouldn’t trade for the world. She has everything she needs—except maybe the one thing she wants. Like, to know who she is. Where she came from. Questions her adoptive parents can’t answer, no matter how much they love her.
But eighteen years ago, someone wrote Cass a series of letters. And they may just hold the answers Cass has been searching for.
     Alternating between Cass’s search for answers and letters from the pregnant teen who gave her up for adoption, this voice-driven narrative is the perfect read for fans of Nina LaCour and Jandy Nelson.

*MY THOUGHTS*

     I started reading this because November is National Adoption Month. I didn't have many expectations because the only other books I've read by Cynthia Hand was her angel trilogy. And while this was vastly different than that series, I loved this one even more.
"Judge not a book by its hot, hot cover, Cass. That's in the Bible somewhere."
pg. 43
     Cassandra has always known she was adopted. But there are some things her adoptive parents can't tell her.... Like who her real parents are. But they can help her find these answers, by showing her the steps to get there, like where to get some letters that her birth mother wrote to her. 
"Just remember," Nyla says, wagging a finger at me." "Friends before mens."
pg. 45
     Ok, so I can't lie. This book broke me. The writing style was amazing. This was a pretty intense book, so the little humorous parts that Hand threw in there were awesome. And some parts were funny enough for me to spit my water from laughing. It was everything I needed at the time. Definitely got more than what I was expecting.
"Live your life. That's what I want for you. And then you can come back and tell me all about it."
pg. 61
     I wasn't really a fan of the characters the whole time though. The main character especially. She was having a bad day and made a ractist remark. I don't actually care how upset or angry or how bad your day is, it doesn't give you the right to say something like that. I almost felt Nyla wasn't being realistic because she was entirely too ok with what she said. But its fiction, so I let it go. But I still don't think it was ok to put in a book. They could have fought over something else. 
"But what I'm thinking in this moment is: none of us really get to have our own seperate lives. Our lives are always horribly tangled up with the people around us. The people we love."
pg. 247
     As for the ending, I didn't care for it. If she was going to make it so they didn't find each other, then leave it that way. I won't say anything else to avoid spoilers, but it just didn't sit well with me. I would have liked it one way or the other. 
"This is sad," sighs Bastian. "Closing nights are so depressing. It's over. We're never going to get to do this, ever again." "I know, but isn't that kind of how life works?" I say. "After this we're on to the next thing." says Nyla. "And it will be even better."
pg. 322
     This book was a surprise, but a good one. There were some things I liked and some I didn't but for the most part it was a good story. Definitely one worth reading. But be careful, you WILL need tissues to catch the rain coming down your face like I did.
Overall, I give this


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