Narrated by: Bahni TurpinE-Audio, 09:09:21Release Date: September 24, 2020Published by: Penguin Random House Audio Publishing Group
Read from: January 20-26, 2020Stand-aloneSource: LibraryTW: Violence, Drug Use, Drinking, Racial microaggressionsFor fans of: Contemporary, POC MC, Realistic Fiction, YA
Trapped in sunny, stifling, small-town suburbia, seventeen-year-old Morgan knows why she’s in therapy. She can’t count the number of times she’s been the only non-white person at the sleepover, been teased for her “weird” outfits, and been told she’s not “really” black. Also, she’s spent most of her summer crying in bed. So there’s that, too.
Lately, it feels like the whole world is listening to the same terrible track on repeat—and it’s telling them how to feel, who to vote for, what to believe. Morgan wonders, when can she turn this song off and begin living for herself?
Life may be a never-ending hamster wheel of agony, but Morgan finds her crew of fellow outcasts, blasts music like there’s no tomorrow, discovers what being black means to her, and finally puts her mental health first. She decides that, no matter what, she will always be intense, ridiculous, passionate, and sometimes hilarious. After all, darkness doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Darkness is just real.
*MY THOUGHTS*
I don't feel that this book was FOR me, but I also kinda do. I wanted to DNF this, but I also couldn't stop listening because I knew how important it was to the African American community. I really hope this gets into the hands of those who need it.
Morgan is a 17 year old African American girl who's been having a hard time. She's tired of being teased for being the only Black person at sleepovers, being told she's not really Black, and a host of other things. She uses this time to find all the ways she can stay afloat.
I can't believe I finished this one. I'm not a huge fan of drugs and alcohol in YA books because my uncle was on drugs most of my life. There was even a point in my life where he got my cousin taken away because of this. And to this day, reading this always triggers me. I think that's why I didn't run to this one. I think had I been reading this and not listening, I wouldn't have finished it. But because I I was able to speed it up and get past those scenes, I ended up finishing it.
The reason I finished this anyway is the mental health theme. In the Black community, mental health is something like a stigma. And most of our people don't even believe it's true. Parker clearly portrayed this in her story. I got a bit teary-eyed while reading this because I could relate. It hurt to listen, but it was still so real.
Morgan was also a big part of why I didn't stop reading this. I related to her so hard. In elementary I went to a Catholic school where I was the one of two Black people in my class. And then in high school I was in a relationship with someone outside my race. I was influenced by them, wearing Famous, and slip on Vans, and letting them do my make up with the wrong shades. I got told more than once I wasn't "really" Black. I felt for Morgan and wanted to show she was not alone.
As for the plot, I think this is why I didn't really care for this. It had too much going on at once. It seemed like there was nothing happening, and then, a bunch of things happen, and then nothing, and then a whole bunch of things at once again. I just wished she had spread some of the events out some.
This book wasn't something I was supposed to like, but I guess times are changing because I did. It wasn't my favorite, but it still had some good enough points that I had to make sure I didn't miss it.
Overall, I give this
